stormtraitor | psl; space polyamory!

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psl; space polyamory!

They had been tasked with traveling to the other side of the galaxy to collect supplies that would then be delivered to some of their more isolated allies. It was an easy trip all things considered. There was little chance of First Order face-offs or any other antagonistic parties. And yet, for some reason, Finn felt tenser than he had any right to be.

It had been a while since he'd traveled alone with Rey and Poe. He was happy, of course, to spend time with the two of them, but ever since he had come to terms with his feelings for them, he had found it difficult to act normal around them. In the close quarters of the Falcon, there were plenty of accidental touches and bumping into someone's personal space. Once he'd felt the tickle of some of Rey's loose hair as they passed by each other. Another time he and Poe had reached for the same control and their hands had rested together for a moment. Every time Finn laughed it off, attempting to appear like his usual self, but inside he was panicking. What if they figured him out? When if they realized how he felt and wanted nothing to do with him. Rey and Poe were two of his closest friends and he didn't want to jeopardize that.

So he kept any romantic thoughts to himself, trying to persuade himself that he was content with how things were.

At the moment, he was trying to focus on one of the holos in the main deck, but quite honestly, he wouldn't have been able to tell anyone what he was watching. His mind kept wandering to thoughts of Rey and Poe.

He sighed and slumped deeper into his seat, resting his head back. Pathetic. He was truly pathetic.

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It was through Finn's gaze that Rey had noticed that Poe had joined them in the room. But unlike Finn, she didn't even consider taking her hand away. During her upbringing in Jakku few people had been kind to her and it was thanks to them she had survived. They ahd pitied on a little girl, giving her odd jobs that helped buying portions to fill her tummy with. They had taught her to scavenge and defend herself.

They had saved her a spot around bonfires as they told stories about the Jedi and better times.

Holding hands had always comforted Rey.

"Are we on autopilot or is Threepio our new captain?" She teased, jerking her head to signal Poe to come over and join them.

Her attention shifted back to Finn then. "Alright. Just remember you can tell us anything."

It was strange, feeling so uplifted. It was thanks to the boys, she knew. Nobody had made her heart feel this light and full at the same time.

The way that Finn answered him, neither he nor Rey acknowledging that they were holding hands, helped to settle that moment of turmoil Poe felt inside. If there was something they needed to explain, they would be explaining it now, wouldn't they? Still, he couldn't stop himself from glancing at their hands again as he walked over.

Whatever the reason was, he wished he'd been in that moment with that opportunity to hold hands with them too.

"Do you think we'd still be flying straight if I let Threepio pilot this ship?" He held his hand out flat in front of his chest to represent the Falcon, then tipped it sharply to the side. "We'd be wrecked on the nearest moon by now."

He sat down beside Finn, that hand coming down to tap the other man on the thigh heartily a couple of times before crossing his arms and propping his heels up on a nearby stool. He lifted his chin towards the holovid. "What are we watching?"

Sandwiched this close between Rey and Poe, Finn didn't know whether to be elated or nervous. He shouldn't feel like he's been caught at something, and yet he felt unsettled despite Poe's usual friendly demeanor.

He did his best to focus on the happier feelings that being close to the two of them produced. If things were a little different this might have been his favorite place to be. But with the mess of feelings swirling around in him, it was difficult to focus on that.

At Poe's question, he shrugged.

"Just one of the old entertainment holos on file," he answered. "I was just looking for some distraction, I guess."

Internally he winced. He shouldn't have admitted to that. Shouldn't have hinted that he was unsettled in any way. Rey was already worried about him. This likely wouldn't make her feel any better about that.

Truth be told, Rey had been feeling an unease building up for days now. Yes, they all got along greatly, she knew that this thing... Realizing that not only did she have friends, but a family now, it was a mutual feeling. All three of them were building up strong feelings and... That is what having best friends means, right?

Why did it feel like a double-edge blade though. Conflict was building up inside of Finn and sometimes, she could swear she felt that radiating from Poe too.

It worried her.

And now even Finn couldn't hold it back anymore.

"Alright. What's happened?"

She sounded firm, but not stern. Letting go of Finn's hand, she turned to wrap her arm around the back of the seat all three of them shared.

"I sense conflict in you, Finn." Her attention went from the ex-Stormtrooper to the Resistance pilot beside him. "And you too Poe. Did something happen between you two? What's going on?"

"A distraction?" Poe's gaze drifted to the light of the holo; there was a Togruta man talking at the moment. "You're in trouble if you're bored with our company already. We've got days ahead yet."

He was only teasing, though. It sounded like a pretty good idea to just relax for a while and watch a holo with his friends. It was years since he last did anything like that. Since he had last had the chance to feel safe enough to let his guard down.

Rey's sharp queries made him startle, though, even if she asked gently enough. He pulled his feet back down to the floor and sat up, turning his body towards her and Finn.

"What? Nothing! Nothing's... happened." He looked at Finn, confused and a little worried. Did Rey know? What if she didn't think it was okay? Or Finn didn't? At best, it'd make this trip awkward and at worst it would ruin everything. "We've not even argued!"

No, no, no, no, no. This was not how he wanted this trip to go. Already he was messing everything up when things between the three of them had been going so well. Rey could feel his unease no matter how he tried to hide it. What could he possibly tell her without giving up the truth? And now Poe was getting defensive. Rightfully so, since they all had been getting along until that moment.

He waved his hands in front of him in a placating manner.

"Nothing's wrong," he said. "Things are going great."

Finn sighed heavily and ran a hand over his head. He turned his head from Rey to Poe. "I didn't mean anything by it."

"It's nice just to be able to relax. With you two."

Hopefully, that didn't give away too much.

Her furrowed brow seemed to relax as Poe pointed out that no, there was no argument. So neither had hurt the other with words. But what could be possibly worrying the both of them so much? Finn specially, it seemed.

Poe... He was more collected than them both. That didn't ease Rey's worry regarding him, though. Poe was older, more experienced and seemed to handle his emotions better than Finn did and, even than Rey herself in some ways.

She settled back on her seat, her attention seemingly on the holovid, even though she was barely watching the figure illuminating all three of them. It was after one uncomfortable silence that she gathered the courage to speak up. Sharing her feelings was something she was most definitely not used to.

"You two are the first friends I've ever had. The best ones I could ask for." The closest to a family, since she was left in Jakku. "And I know I'm not easy to handle, I'm not used to people. I haven't lived with anyone in years." Not since she was a youngling.

"I hate to think I'm messing this up."

That had to be it, right? There was something bothering her two friends. It simply made sense.

They seemed to settle back to watch the holovid. Poe relaxed back into his seat again, but he found himself slightly leaning away from Finn. He didn't want to make it obvious, but he didn't want to be so obviously close either. He shouldn't have smacked his thigh, though that had been genuinely innocent.

Then Rey spoke up and Poe turned his attention back over to her. What was this about? She was sensing how Poe was... Making Finn uncomfortable, and now she thought she was to blame?

"Where's that coming from? You're not messing anything up. If anything, I am."

He paused and rubbed his mouth with his thumb thoughtfully. "Sorry, I know I walked in on something... I should go check on the autopilot, I'll leave you both to it."

It was getting worse. How could it possibly be getting worse???

Instinctively, Finn grabbed Rey's hand again in a gesture of comfort. The last thing he wanted is for Rey to feel like any of this was her fault. She'd already been through so much. She didn't deserve his feelings messing everything up for her. He was about to tell her how it was all his fault when Poe chimed in as well.

Panicked, he reached out and took Poe's hand with his free one. He didn't want either of them going anywhere if they didn't have to.

"Hold on a second," he said. "You haven't messed anything up, Rey. And Poe, you didn't walk in on anything."

He leaned forward a bit, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. "I'm just being weird. Stupid, even. Can you two just...stay here for a little while?"

Both Poe's words and Finn's hand helped easing off a bit that which was making Rey's shoulder feel so tense, the ache in her heart. She could tell they were being honest and did not blame her for any domestic tension she might have been unnaware of.

The problem still remained, though. There was something she clearly couldn't put her finger on here.

"Why are you feeling weird?" She asked Finn, her thumb gently stroking his hand. Her attention quickly shifted to Poe though, as she wished she could be touching him at the same time.

She'd never been so touchy before. And if she did... That had been so long ago she could not even remember it.

"Poe, what did you think you walked in on? Finn and I would never keep something from you." Right?

It stole his breath a moment, Finn taking his hand. Even as he tried to control his reaction, he knew it was too late. His eyes widened, darting to Rey, but catching her eye only made it worse. His heart... Kriff... It was thumping like he was in the middle of a good dogfight. And the most messed up part was that as nervous as this made him, he was enjoying the physical and emotional contact with the other two in that moment.

"I..." He wet his bottom lip, his fingers flexing and readjusting the hold on Finn's hand. "It's okay to have secrets."

This felt so intimate, even if it was just hand holding. Even if he was just holding Rey's gaze steadily and not looking away. Even if he was gently squeezing Finn's hand tighter. It was nothing. Just his perceptions and hopes, nothing more.

"I thought maybe you and Finn were having a moment."

Finn felt his face warm at Poe's implication. He thought that there was something between him and Rey? Something more than what Finn considered completely one-sided pining on his end. He thought he had been cool enough with how he acted, but maybe he'd been giving himself too much credit. Either way, he didn't want to give Poe the wrong idea when nothing was going on, and he didn't want Rey to feel pressure because of his own stupid feelings.

"That's not-" he started. How in the hell was he supposed to set things right again? He didn't know what to say that would magically put them all back to rights as if this conversation hadn't happened. The least he could do was take the blame, he guessed.

"There wasn't a moment. We aren't...well, we aren't like that. Rey doesn't feel that way about me."

"We were not having a moment." Rey said practically at the same time with Finn. A moment? He meant it romantically, didn't he? Before Rey could clarify, Finn went on, erasing any doubt on--

She pulled her gaze away from Poe's, leaning slightly forward as her attention fell on Finn again. "But I do. And I thought you did too. And that Poe does too."

It was easy to feel it in the air, the ammount of affection they had for each other. Sure, they could clash at times, pushing each other's buttons, but isn't that what families do? They'd never acted upon it, but Rey could see it as clear as daylight. They would risk their lives for each other, they would continue being together in this shared path.

She met Poe's gaze again, this time doubt creeping over her. Was she mistaken?

"I thought I could feel it, the way we love each other."

It should have been mortifying; Rey calling him out like that. He knowing what was inside of him as clear if he'd been wearing his feelings for them both around his neck on a chain. But it wasn't, because she was saying that it wasn't just him. She was saying that her and Finn felt something too.

"... Can I clarify what we're talking about here?" It was scary, maybe he was misunderstanding this whole conversation.

But Finn was still holding his hand. Poe took a risk and rubbed his thumb over the other man's knuckle gently. Then he reached over his lap with his other hand, silently asking Rey to take it.

"When you say we all love each other..?" Dare he think that just maybe he could have found what he'd been dreaming of since he was a youngling and saw how much his mom loved his dad, in not one but two people?

She eyed carefully the way Poe held his hand out for her. For the briefest of moments, Rey hesitated. She was too taken aback by the tension that had suddenly grown in the room. Had the others not felt it too? They all clearly cared openly about each other. With time Rey had even learnt to relax and enjoy the closeness that kept growing between them.

Some time ago, years, even months ago, she wouldn't have put her hand in Poe's the way she did right now. Trusting. Knowing they would figure things out. Squeezing gently, she trusted this could be both a sign of affection and hope.

Rey's attention returned to Finn then. The very tip of her tongue slipped past her lips, tracing them for little relief on how dry it felt now. Her teeth caight her lower lip. Rey had to be cautious, her instinct told her so. What if she had read this whole situation in the wrong way?

"I don't know how these things work. But I thought this was it. Us three together, sharing our lives. I thought it was like family, but in a different way." She sucked in a stuttering breath. After all these years on her own, what could she know? "I just... I could have sworn I could feel it, coming from you two as well. And I know I return the feeling. Because you two are the best thing that could have happened to me."

Edited 2021-03-15 22:01 (UTC)

For a second, Finn couldn't remember how to breathe. Rey's response was beyond anything that he could have ever hoped for, and yet it made him shudder with embarrassment. Could she tell this whole time? Or was it something that had become apparent the more she trained with the force? Or was he just completely and utterly obvious?

He watched, stunned as Rey and Poe linked their hands together. The three of them now formed their own sort of circle. Finn felt like they were on the precipice of something life-altering, not unlike the moment he had chosen to leave the First Order. But could he really have everything that he was hoping for? Could it be that simple?

As Rey went on, Finn felt the embarrassment slip away. She was right. There was something so natural about how the three of them worked together. He had thought it was just how good they were as friends, but could it really be more to it? From the look on both Rey and Poe's faces, it suddenly seemed possible.

"You two are my best friends," he finally said. His hands shook slightly in theirs. "And I wouldn't want to ruin that for anything. But if you're saying it's more than that...more than just friendship...then I don't want us to miss out on that either."

Taking it all in, Poe looked between Rey and Finn, listening to what they were telling him, what they were telling each other. Could this really be possible? Poe knew that he could love the both of them because he did already, but he'd never even considered the possibility that they could both have the same and equal feelings not just for him but for each other as well.

What were the odds! CP30 could probably tell him.

Cards on the table time.

"Okay. I know that I want more than friendship," he nodded at Rey, and then at Finn. "From the both of you. I thought that would be impossible. But if we can do this and make it work then, yeah, I want to try."

It ease that little ache worry had weighted her heart with, hearing that the others were clearly agreeing with her words. Rey smiled softly, enjoying that warmth building between all three of them, a rush shared in this physical connection they had right now.

But suddenly Finn pointed out something that changed her view on things. Would this balance change between them now that they had acknowledge it? How could it possibly ruin things?

Her attention switched between them, back and forth from Poe to Finn.

"What... What'd you mean you want to try? How are things going to change?" Would they hold hands more often? Would they make sure to share their meals always all three together? "I want to try too," she clarified.

Finn puffed out a little laugh, mostly out of relief. Somehow, miraculously, they've all mostly ended up on the same page. It was still scary to consider, but it gave him hope to see the interest plain on the other's faces. Things were going to change from there on out, but he felt like if he was with Rey and Poe that they could make it.

When it came to relationships, Finn had no doubt that Poe was probably leagues ahead of where he and Rey were. But Finn knew attraction, knew that he had it for both Poe and Ray. Mostly, he just didn't know what to do with it. He hadn't known love before, but he felt like he knew it now.

"I want to be there for you both. In every possible way."

He met both of their eyes, wanting to transmit how serious he was. Of course, then he felt his face flushing with his next words.

"Both emotionally and..." He cleared his throat. "Physically?"

[ooc: Sorry for the late tag, RL swallowed me up for two weeks...]

Slowly, the realisation dawned on Poe. Neither Rey nor Finn actually knew what it was they were agreeing to, what this meant. Neither had had the life he'd had, growing up with parents that loved each other, experimenting and experiencing relationships as he became an adult, searching for that love himself.

"We can take it slowly," he said carefully, looking between the two of them. "Things don't have to change dramatically, it you both should always say if you're not comfortable."

He was certain that even if their feelings were new to them, they were true feelings at least. But in case they weren't, he had to be the one to be responsible. He didn't want to lose what he had already with them.

Finn had mentioned the physical aspect while Rey seemed to not understand how anything could possibly change. Poe couldn't be sure that either of them really understood, though. He looked to Rey first.

"Do you understand what he means by physically?" He asked her, then turned to Finn as well. "What do you understand when you say that?"

[ooc: You know its cool, real life always comes first <3]

Rey had not always been completely on her own as she grew up on Jakku. It had been thanks to a few king people living in Niima Outpost and its outskirts that she had survived. First, doing a few errands that earned her a little money, food or even water. Later, experimented scavengers had hired her to sneak into places they could not, teaching her about the job and what to do once you had a hidden treasure of scraps in your hands.

They'd helped her build herself a home and repair electronics.

Some of these people had families of their own, younglings that probably reminded them of Rey and encouraged their generosity. Rey had seen them together, loving touches and affectionate gestures, things that dragged out hassy memories of what she was sure must have been her own parents.

That's what she thought of when romantic feelings came to mind. Only now did she realize, that other things she'd seen around clearly had something to do with that too.

"Sex, you mean? Like in the brothels, but without credits exchange." It made sense. She'd heard of a traveller or two coming back because they had apparently fallen for the workers.

She looked down and her small hand in Poe's, he thumb tracing his knuckle, her attention then fell in Finn's hand as she repeated the gesture. She suddenly imagined them touching her, their palms on her cheeks, on her shoulders, her hips. She remembered how new it had felt, Finn's hand on her own that first time they met.

Would it feel just as unique? She knows she wouldn't disencourage him this time.

"Yeah, I'd like that. I'd like to know what that is like with you two." She looked up and met Finn's gaze, clear resolution on the way she smiled with confidence. "To connect with you emotionally and physically."

Everything that Finn knew about relationships came completely through word of mouth. Troopers barely had time to themselves and making connections was discouraged, to say the least. It's only through stories and rumors that he built an active understanding of intimacy. He had only come to experience some aspect of it after he'd defected and met Poe and Rey. Maybe that's why he hugged Poe so easily or reached out for Rey's hand again and again.

He fidgeted a bit then, slightly embarrassed at Rey mentioning brothels, but he knew she couldn't have been that sheltered in a place like Jakku.

It was still baffling to him that they were actually having this conversation. That they were discussing a relationship between all three of them, one that could be filled with the love he'd been denied up until this point in his life.

"I'll admit," Fin said after clearing his throat. "That I won't be sure of most of what to do at first, but..."

He glanced from Rey to Poe.

"I want to learn with the two of you. I mean, if that's what you both want, too."

"Yeah, sex," Poe replied, admittedly a little surprised that it was Rey who outright said it.

Maybe he shouldn't have been surprised. She had lived in a rough home, but it had still been a free home where people had the chance to live their own lives. Brothels, and other things, were part of that freedom. For some at least. Poe was under no disillusions about the complexities of selling your body as a commodity, in any form.

Finn... Had Finn even been paid for what he had been made to give his life for? Somehow Poe didn't imagine much leave was given to stormtroopers to find entertainment.

"We don't have to rush into that. And I can help you both, guide you..."

They could talk about this all day, Poe realised, but actions were a better way to learn. He leaned towards Rey, not hurrying but not lingering either, and pressed a kiss to her mouth, before leaning over her to reach Finn and do the same to him.

Was that the right move? His eyes darted between the pair as he pulled back again.

She had no idea of how it worked. Sure, Rey knew the basics. She'd seen others washing themselves in the few public bathhouse, the only source of enough water to properly wash yourself in Niima Outpost. And she'd noticed people relieving themselves from different types of needs, out in public. Never up-close, thankfully.

Now she wondered if that lack of education would leave her looking foolish.

But Finn spoke up, showing she was not alone, giving her more confidence. Then Poe did, easing the tension in her chest. She smiled, feeling like a fool indeed. Of course she should have counted on her friends to guide her, to walk beside her. No. Not just her friends. Her boys.

"I'd like that, yes." She told the both of them, feeling a little warm rise on her cheeks. A warmth, a blush that became more obvious as soon as she noticed Poe leaning in. Rey closed her eyes, still as Poe kissed her. It was only when he puckered his lips that she mirrored him, already taking notes on her first lesson. It was nice, made something in her chest flip. The same thing it did, to watch then Poe kiss Finn. All three of them connected. All three of them learning something new, sharing something unique.

She was suddenly in awe, watching Finn and Poe together. "So beautiful."

Before they parted ways, she leaned in, kissing Poe's scruffy cheek. She turned to Finn then and, noticing that the pilot was pulling away, she placed her mouth on the ex-Stormtrooper's.

Rey lingered a little longer this time, parting her lips slighting as she explored this a step further. She blindly looked with her hand, finding Poe's arm, travelling with her fingers until she found his hand while her tongue peeked past Finn's lips, carefully seeking entrance.

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psl; space polyamory!

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